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Excerpt from Snow’s Falling

Hi Everyone!
For those doing NaNo this year, I hope you are enjoying this experience. I certainly am. I’ve hit a wall though. So lately, It’s more like plodding through. I’m hoping this changes soon!

So I’ve been thinking… I read posts of the blogs I follow, but I haven’t really read any of their writing, with the exception of my superfantabulous Crit Partner Jamie. So I thought I would share a scene from Snow’s Falling, my NaNo story. It’s not great and will be heavily edited come next year. This particular scene is when Snow first arrives home.

Hopefully this doesn’t conjure any unwanted images in your head. You’ll see what I mean… I think there’s one swear word (if you can call it that), but it’s a little gross… just FYI.

I walked over and flipped on the light. In one moment all that I had known about my parents was tarnished. Had I known what I was going to see I would have gouged out my eyes with a plastic spork.

My mom and dad were both naked on the leather couch. Through my shock I saw random body parts and red panties and– I didn’t want to remember anything else. I turned around quickly. “What the hell are you doing?” I yelled.

“Snow, this is the most natural thing two people can do. Sex is a wonderful thing.” My mom’s calm and rational voice sounded like a soft song.

“Sorry kid. Thought you’d be home later.” My dad’s voice, in contrast, sounded like a rusty engine about to go kaput.

I heard the friction of the leather couch and my parent’s flesh separating. I didn’t dare turn around.

“Why aren’t you playing with your friends?” Mom said.

“I have homework.”

“Oh. Well yes. That’s important too, but you need to be social. You don’t want to end up alone.”

“Can I turn around yet?”

“Of course,” Mom said.

I turned around. My dad’s t-shirt was twisted and his jeans were unbuttoned. His dark hair was disheveled. My mom’s long dress was wrinkled, but her light brown hair was iron straight. I didn’t know how that was possible. They both had gleaming smiles on their faces.

I was not smiling. I was mortified and may never see again.

“I need my computer.” I walked further into the room and saw it lying on the couch. They couldn’t be bothered to move it? Stomach acid climbed up my throat hoping for an escape. I didn’t want to touch it. “Please tell me you didn’t—on my computer.”

My mom stole a glance at my dad then turned toward me. “We were nowhere near it.”

“Next to it, maybe,” Dad shrugged it off like he was saying, ‘No kid we didn’t get any happy juice on your new macbook that you paid a thousand dollars of your own money for’.

I grabbed my laptop and walked out of the room. “Good Night!”

“Night,” Mom called up the stairs.

I wasn’t sure what scene to share with you. This is a kind of the catalyst for some of the story, so it seemed appropriate. Also, I’m the only one that has had this horrid thought in my head, so now y’all do too. LOL. Sorry…

Thanks for reading 🙂

Oh.. I got another award thanks to the wonderful melane over at Chasing the Dream- An aspiring YA writer’s path to hopefully becoming published

Thanks melane- you’re awesome. If you haven’t checked our melane’s blog- please do so- she’s got a great one over there!

Okay- off to write! I just passed the 20,000 mark! Hope everyone’s words are plentiful for those doing NaNo and those working on their WIP’s 🙂

So… do you provide teasers on your blog? How often?

18 Responses to “Excerpt from Snow’s Falling”

  1. laynap says:

    Crap! That reminds ME of walking in on my own parents. It’s a relatable segment and I think I’ll live thru the vivid reminder. It’s a fantastic thing when you can write something that another can remember what that was like even though it’s only fiction. Great job and I hope to read the full piece soon. 😀

  2. Erica says:

    Lynap- Thanks and welcome 🙂

    Oh man- I’m so sorry, that’s seriously awful, I luckily, never did walk in on mine.

    Thank you for the wonderful compliment. I’m glad to hear I got it right.

  3. Terresa says:

    Congrats on your award! and on continuing with NaNo! (You are braver than me on that count!)

  4. Jamie D. says:

    LOL – Great scene, Erica. And hilarious. I can feel Snow’s intense disgust, and her parents’ apathy so well…very nicely done. Made me laugh! 🙂

    I actually don’t post teasers very often – not of work I hope to publish. Just here and there, in smallish snippets so I don’t jeopardize the publishing rights. I don’t consider my serial novel a “teaser”…it’s specifically for the blog, so I don’t have to worry about sharing “too much” of it.

    I want people to know my work though, to get comfortable with my writing on my blog in hopes that they’ll buy published pieces from me later. Hence the serial novel and flash pieces. 🙂

  5. Erica says:

    Terresa- Thank you and welcome 🙂
    NaNo is pretty fun, but it is hard work. I think I’ll probably keep doing it every year. Why not? :O)

    Thanks Jamie! Glad it made you laugh. If I evoke anything in anyone, I’m doing my job.

    I don’t usually post teasers, but I figured one scene wouldn’t hurt. I’m sure parts of it will change anyway :O)

    You know- that makes total sense for the readers to get to read your serial- that does bring them to your writing 🙂 I just don’t have the time to do anything like that. Not yet anyway 😉

    Glad it made you laugh!

  6. Gourging eyes out with plastic spork …wow, that’s some image.

    Fortunately, I haven’t had this experience in personal life, and that’s just as well.

    I don’t provide teasers on my blog. I have written a rare flash fiction piece just for the blog, as a part of the chain or something, but of my novels, I haven’t shared anything.

    It’s not really about publishing rights, because I know sharing a scene or two doesn’t effect that, but more that I am not yet confident enough with my work to share it. So for anything that gets accepted for publication, I would share teasers, but not for anything that doesn’t.

    Well at least that’s what I feel now. It might change in the future.

  7. …my parent’s flesh separating…


    You know, I think the last time I posted a teaser was during NaNo last year, and I think it was at about the midway point. I like sharing my work and getting a reaction from people, but I’m nervous about sharing too much.

    This excerpt is great because you really get a feel for who the MC is. 🙂

  8. Erica says:

    LW- that makes sense really. You should’ve seen me editing this before I posted it. I checked it at least ten times! LOL

    This scene will probably be it. There are definitely mistakes in it, but, it doesn’t give anything away really, which I like 🙂

    Mel- LOL- you’re funny. That’s so hilarious- we must be on the same wavelength! I like to know I’m not nuts and that at least this scene is something that is readable.

    Thank you. I like Snow, she has a rough week though, starting with that… LOL

  9. Hi…I’m not that good at reading other stories while I’m doing one. Weird? Just me. I do look forward to yours though for sure.

    Keep going…I’m taking a popcorn break and then back to wordin’.

    stop by when when you get a chance, left a note for you….-d

  10. Erica says:

    Dave- nothing’s weird, just different 🙂 Thanks!

    Enjoy the popcorn! I’m stopping by right now 🙂

  11. C R Ward says:

    LOL That was great, Erica!

    I never walked in on my parents, although my husband’s father once walked in on us while we were dating! 😉

  12. t says:

    You captured that scene really well. Funny and horrifying. Very funny how the parents act like it’s no big deal.

  13. Diane says:

    Love the blog makeover and I did like your story. Thankfully, I never walked in on anything like that, my thoughts are already tainted enough! :O)

  14. Oh my gosh, that’s hilarious! Love it.

    And we used to post teasers on our blog, but haven’t been doing much of it lately. We don’t like to tease too much out of the same book. Don’t want to give anything away!

  15. Erica says:

    CR- Thanks so much 🙂 Ouch! That sucks!! Wow. I’ve been lucky enough not to have either of those things happen to me… yet ;O)

    t- Welcome! and Thank You for the nice compliment. That’s what I was trying to do, horrify you yet make you laugh 🙂

  16. Erica says:

    Diane- Thank you! I like the new look myself. I’m a huge fan of retro 🙂 I’m so glad you haven’t had that happen to you.

    I don’t even want to think about it, and unfortunately, I’ve had to, in order to write the scene. Ewww… ;o)

    LiLa- Thanks so much-I hope the rest of the story makes people laugh too 🙂

    Well your teasers obviously worked 🙂 You guys are doing great these days!! So happy for you both ;o)

  17. I fortunately never experienced this. And I’m so thankful!!! I thought the scene fit the POV pretty well. Good luck pushing through the wall.

  18. Erica says:

    Tara- I’m so glad you’ve never experienced that! Thanks for the luck 🙂

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