After the Madness Workshop – E2
It’s here! The After the Madness has begun! We have two great entries today. Here’s how it’ll work. I’ll post (along with Brenda Drake, YAtopia, and Shelley Watters) two entries per day until we’ve reached fifteen each. There was no rhyme or reason for who got which entries, so make sure to check all four blogs for yours! For those that are here to critique, have a great time! This is an open forum and we welcome opinions. It isn’t easy to put your stuff out there so, kudos to all of you who entered! I hope we can help ;o)
Let’s do this!
First 250 words
Entry E2 – Leigh Caroline
Islaine the Last slammed the ancient oak door of her room. Despite the force she used, it closed with a soft hush; (a period could be placed here, I think) the castle was too well trained to actually do anything as disruptive as slamming. She flung herself on the fluffy white bed, sobbing the way only the young and incredibly frustrated can manage. After a few moments, though, she pulled her long, pale hair out of her face, and glanced around the room . “Any other time, this place is swarming with pixies! I wasted a perfectly fantastic dramatic entrance!” LOL
A muffled giggle from behind the curtain told her the impulsive creatures weren’t far after all. Islaine pushed herself up off the bed, a sly grin replacing the pout she’d worn a moment before. She tapped her index finger against her heart shaped lips, as if thinking. “How odd, a giggle from somewhere in the room. There must be a pixie hiding somewhere around here…” she mused, a hint of a smile in her crystal eyes. She lifted up the top of her charm box, shifting the bits of shiny stones and silver around. “Nope, not in the charm box.”
She bent to look under the bed, then made a show of flipping her hair back up out of her way a few times, before declaring, “Not under the bed either. I wonder where they could be?”
Another giggle from behind the velvet curtain, and she reached out and flicked the curtain open, sending the small pixies flitting around in windblown circles.
This is really cute. The voice is good and I get an idea of the kind of person Islaine is. She seems young and a little dramatic, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, just be careful and not make her too melodramatic. I love the idea of the pixies being tricksters and hiding from her. Great job!
What do you think? Any suggestions?
Have a great day!
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