Pitch Madness Entry E-3: AFFAIRS OF THE DEAD
Genre: Adult Urban Fantasy
Word Count: 85,000
Necromancer Selene becomes bound to a ghost who was ousted from his body, and must stop the murdering body thief and get unbound before the Rot gained from being tied to a ghost kills her.
I was in a strip club trying to help a ghost get laid, which was challenging, but not impossible. It was just extremely taxing on the necromancer extraordinaire (me) who was channeling energy into the ghost so she’d be corporeal enough to entice one of the stripper boys. Technically what I was doing was illegal, but it was my job to help Julia settle her affairs so she could move on to eternally ever after, and her unfinished business was that she’d died a virgin. I’d made things as easy as I could by starting at a strip club; if she couldn’t get some here I wasn’t sure how much lower I could scrape the barrel.
Julia’s prolonged virginity was an enigma to me, even though she’d told me that she’d been waiting for her soul mate. I just didn’t understand why that meant she couldn’t hit up a bar, get drunk, and have a fun, regret filled weekend that included the walk of shame.
Pitch Madness Entry E-4: GRIPPED
Genre: (Edgy) Young Adult Contemporary
Word Count: 58,000
Taylor has it all, including an addiction. When she crashes her car, her secret comes out. The truth is, she can’t survive without alcohol, and she’d rather die than give it up.
This is the most perfect senior year ever.
Kicking ass in school. Check.
Varsity Cheer. Check.
Hottie boyfriend. Check.
I spin in a circle doing one last butt check in the mirror.
It took me a half hour to pick out an outfit, but I nailed it. Dark wash Joe’s jeans that make my non-existent butt look perky. White sweater than shows my tan. Leopard ballet flats for a touch of flair.
A horn honks outside. Blake.
Tiny butterflies flutter in my stomach as I float down the stairs and out to his car.
“Hey you.” I hop up into the black SUV, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek.
“Hey.” He doesn’t look at me before putting the car into drive and pulling away from the curb. I haven’t even buckled my seat belt.
“So, I had my first AP history quiz today. I don’t know why I was so worried.
Pitch Madness Entry E-5: EYRE HOUSE
Genre: YA Gothic Mystery
Word Count: 62,000
Eyre House recasts Jane Eyre in a sleepy Southern island town, complete with ghost stories, seventeen-year-old Evan Richardson as the orphaned Jane, and plenty of mystery, romance, and Southern hospitality.
The blasting staccato of rain against my helmet didn’t quite drown out the deep rumble of my bike’s engine. Lightning highlighted the rural road ahead of me, and the marshes that surrounded it. It was hard to believe it wasn’t even six yet. The clouds rolling up the coast were dark as hell. Even with the right gear, I was cold, wet, and tired. I swore under my breath for about the millionth time since leaving Charleston.
I had wanted to leave early, make Eyre House by midafternoon. The Gages had never hidden how little they cared about me, but they sure as hell had done their best to keep me from leaving today. They’d delayed me until just before the storm hit, leaving me to make the hour ride in torrential rain.
Personally, I suspected the loss of my foster payment was to blame. Fucking assholes.
Pitch Madness Entry E-6: THE PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY FRIENDSHIP
Genre: Contemporary MG
Word Count: 50,000
When selling her appendix on e-bay doesn’t work, ten-year-old Annie seeks other ways to save her best friend’s house from foreclosure.
I snuck the phone into the hall closet where Kate’s faux fur parka would muffle the sound. I hit speed-dial #7 and let it ring once, then hung up and called again. Our secret code. It rang twice before Jason answered.
“I’ve got a body count.” I was all business. “Burial required pronto.”
“Affirmative. See you in five.”
Jason hedged. “Wait. The parental units admitted an unknown onto the premises. Emergency mission in progress. Need more time. Repeat. Need more time.”
“Jason, this is important. I’m coming. You have five.” I hung up.
Much more possibility of getting caught this way, but Jason was stubborn. If I waited for him to come on his own, it might never happen. I listened for the tell-tale sounds of danger—like Kate, bane-of-my-existence slash big-sister-from-Hades coming home from school—then slipped out of the closet and replaced the phone.
Pitch Madness Entry E-7 The Princess Paradox
Genre: Women’s fiction
Word Count: 90,000
Jaded by fairy tales, Nora Roseberry’s surprised to find herself caught between ‘Prince Charming’ and his brother ‘Prince-Damn-He’s-Charming’. Stick to the story? Or change the fairy tale ending? Happily ever after just got messy.
I wish I had the guts to tell my best friend I’d rather gouge out my eyes with a cocktail weenie than be at her wedding. Weddings, by nature, raise numerous questions if you’re single. People you don’t even know approach you as if it’s open season on any insensitive question they can muster. Are you involved? Did you just break up with someone? Are you a lesbian?
My answer to all of these is an emphatic “no”. But explaining my feelings to Jillian, well, that just makes her try to hook me up with someone even more. Which is why I’m sitting here in dressing room I-lost-count, watching her zip up a beautiful Marchesa bridal gown, dreading this whole experience. I know exactly how this day will end.